My wife is a better dwarf than I am :(

When my wife and I walked back from the Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug to our car parked in an underground car park, I was struck with a sad realisation. My wife is truly a better dwarf than I am. Dwarves rock! I would choose a dwarf any time of day over a "who-maaan" or gods-forbid an elf. Nonetheless, I have proven time and again that I am no good as one :(

As we have seen in the last two films of the Hobbit and read in countless fantasy books, dwarves will never get lost underground (as a matter of fact, anywhere with a ceiling above them), but above ground they are, in fact, worse than your average city idiot. Orientation by the stars. Nah. But orientation underground in near darkness with a ceiling above their heads. Where is east? That way. No problem-o.

The underground car park, I spoke of, is a veritable maze. I kid you not, it officially only has two levels (or is it three?), but you can go down 5 flights of stairs and still only be at -1. Of course, it has a million and two entrances and we entered through a different one than we left. We came underground and suddenly I was lost. I had no idea where to go. It wasn't that everything looked the same. Quite the opposite, everything looked unfamiliar, wherever I turned!

My wife to the rescue! Quote: "It's easy, just go left there. See those stairs. Down one. Turn right, walk straight for a bit and then to our left will be our car."

I felt like crying that moment.

With sadness, I remembered back to our time in Manchester (UK) together, where we sometimes had to go to the Arndale Center. It is a circular shopping mall with two levels. At no point in that British crystal labyrinth was I ever able to find anything! I think she enjoyed meeting me there, because I would enter at a random entrance and it doesn't matter where, I will find the longest way to the meeting point. Instinctively turning the wrong way was my forté. My wife on the other hand oriented herself by landmarks entirely hidden to me. Benches with a chink in the metal. Shoe shops. The shop with all the women dressed in pink. The list of absuridities goes on and on.

There are many examples like the two above. I am sure, she would have a field day in Glasgow's Waxy O'Connors. However painful it is for me, I must admit to myself. My wife may be as beautiful, graceful and elegant as an elf, but on the inside there pounces the heart of a dwarf in the (seductively pretty). Whereas in mine, ploppers the meager heart of a mere human :(

I can live without the 3D-cinema experience

I just came home from watching the movie "The Avengers" (Check out the trailer below). I was really looking forward to the movie and it definitely delivered. Good all round evening cinema, I would say.

But there is one thing, that is occurring recently, that really puts me off going to the cinema: 3D-movies. They really do not add anything extra for me. I like watching a movie in a row that is fairly close to the silver screen, so that my entire vision is filled up by the screen. Frankly, if I do that in a 3D-movie, I feel like puking. I remember, by some random accident, my wife and I watched Avatar from a front row seat (yep, that's right; row "one"). While I thought, I felt rubbish and dizzy, I then looked over to my wife and believe you me, she looked like death warmed up and about to share her evening meal with the rest of the audience via regurgitatory means.

Additionally, where I am currently at, a 3D movie is in fact about €4 more expensive than a normal movie. Personally, I find that a bit steep. I still reminisce about my student times in the UK, where I could go and watch a movie for £3. Currently, because I am not a student anymore and most movies are in 3D, I pay a whopping €11,50 for a movie. I am sorry, but that is just not on.

What makes the entire thing even worse is, that I sometimes get the feeling that there are hardly any 3D effects. Avengers had some, but if I am honest, I could have happily lived without them. Sometimes, one of Iron Man's rays went the audience's direction and the big fight scene at the end (if anyone thinks I just spoilt the movie by saying there is a big fight at the end of it, is officially a moron) had some effects, but nothing major. When I watched Alice in Wonderland, I actually felt cheated out of four euros, simply because I saw Johnny Depp do something once in 3Dish. The rest was just a normal frickin' film! It drives me bonkers!

Since I am also one of those people with less than stellar eyesight, I have to rely on glasses. Contacts never worked out for me, which isn't a problem... in a 3D cinema, this is a different story. Having one pair of glasses on is fine, two pairs on the other hand, is plain silly. Until my first 3D movie, I never thought that running out of "nose space" would be an issue. As a laboratory chemist who has to wear additional safety specs in the lab, I know what I am talking about and these far too large, wanna-be futuristic looking 3D goggles are just a hassle.

All in all, I can really say that I can understand why true cinema is going downhill. the 3D technology has been around for a while, but never caught on in Europe. Now trying it again, I have to admit to myself, that it pushed me out of the cinema. I used to love going to the movies. It was one of those things that I would do on my own and I would go home, wholeheartedly satisfied. With the advent of 3D-cinema this unfortunately changed, because the higher production costs (or whatever causes the excessive increase in ticket price) are making cinemas come up with strange ways to get more money out of the viewers pockets. Where I am at, they always (yes always, not only in very long movies) take a half-time break, "to give us the chance to go to the toilet". More like the chance to buy half a litre of coke for what feels like 5 euros... I am getting carried away and so I shall stop here with this ;)

At the end of this, all I can say is. Avengers: fantastic movie. 3D-cinema: fantastically overrated, overpriced and just not worth it. Bring back old movie cinema and old prices.

Tolkien's "The Hobbit" - the movie (I hate waiting!)

I just watched this trailer... for the third time in 15 minutes...

...and it has gripped me again. As you may have noticed, I am a bit of a fan of fantasy of all kinds. I was nearly wetting my pants in expectation every time a new Lord of the Rings movie was coming out and with this trailer it is the exact same. Damn you New Line Cinema! Damn you Peter Jackson! For already showing us these snippets while it will only be out by December 2012!!! Shame on you all for making me wait :D

P.S. The Dwarven, Gregorian Chant is awesome!

All over the misty mountains cold,
To dungeons deep and caverns old.
 
The pines were roaring on the heights,
The winds were mourning in the night.
 
The fire was red, it flaming spread.
The trees like torches blazed with light.

P.P.S. Darn! I can't wait!

The Wave: Book vs. Film

I just watched the movie "Die Welle", which is a German adaption of the popular novel "The Wave" by Todd Strasser. Having read both the book and now seen the film, I found it interesting to see the differences. I am not sure how successful the book was in the US, but in light of the story (if you haven't read the book, go read one of the many synopses) and its relevance to the recent German history, this book has been used as a book to read and analyse in German highschools all across the country.

I must say, I liked how the makers of the film tried to put the film into a German and contemporary context, i.e. German high school life is rather different than a US high school. Furthermore did they discuss how the most googled contemporary person was Paris Hilton (not sure if that is true, but it puts it into a contemporary context). I quite like that since I am not a fan of the whole keeping 100% to the script kinda guy.

I was, however, disappointed by the ending. In the book, everything is resolved by the teacher telling them, how they behaved exactly the way they never would and showing them a picture of Hitler. In the film, they felt that it was necessary to have one of the students being killed. I am not sure why they inserted this detail, but I found the story compelling enough without adding such a dramatic detail. The actions throughout the film were dramatic enough for my liking. Having to add a death to the story to strengthen the drama was the wrong move in my opinion.